The Return of Black Jesus
"I'm here to destroy your babies. I hate your children born or unborn and I'm going to kill them. Abortions is for wussies [sic]. If women that want abortions had any balls…" This may be Black Cum's double cassette masterpiece. It's just as horrible sounding as always but the singing and lyrics are on a whole new level. Brand new insanity is reached on the first track of completely nonsense right off the bat in a song about killing children. I swear to god halfway through some pretty descriptive rants about what else an umbilical chord can used for I can hear the guitar star playing The Stooges "I wanna be your dog". The songs that follow are equally as brilliant in it's weirdo primitive anti music terribleness. It's a god damn disaster and you may hate me for enjoying this but I kinda love it. Oh yeah. I almost failed to mention how many songs are on these two cassettes. 59 songs. 59. 59 titles. Let me give you a selection of those: Cop Consentration Camp [sic], We Only Listen to Dubstep (and we like it that way), I have a Dream, Mr. Rodgers Pulled Pork Sandwich, Kill Me So I Can Trip, Scalping the Elderly… and many more. The packaging is awesome and kinda horrible as well. Just like the band. Two tapes sewn into a handmade bag with two spray painted patches and a huge list of song titles and their manifesto. Which might explain Black Cum a little better to you:
Black Cum doesn't write songs.
Black Cum doesn't practice.
Black Cum doesn't do second takes.
Black Cum just gets fucked up, presses record and plays.
Whatever happens, happens.
God bless them.
Oh yeah, they have a kickstarter up right now for a 10" lathe. They only need $200 total so go over there and help them out. I am going to. I can't miss one of these… It's going to be psychotic.